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Help and Advice If your child is over 13

Change your child’s behaviour

What do I do if my child has done this to someone? Remain calm and keep an open mind. Listen to your child explain what happened in their own words. Acknowledge how they are feeling and give them time to process their emotions. They might find it easier to write down how they are feeling. […]

What do I do if my child has done this to someone?

  • Remain calm and keep an open mind. Listen to your child explain what happened in their own words.
  • Acknowledge how they are feeling and give them time to process their emotions. They might find it easier to write down how they are feeling.
  • Don’t make assumptions. Children often see the online world as an outlet for things they find difficult to express offline, such as sexual orientation or past experiences.
  • Ask your child why it happened. Ask them about their friendships and who they spend time with online and offline. There is a risk that children who display harmful behaviour are a victim of harm themselves, such as grooming or involvement with gangs. If you suspect this is why they have acted in this way, contact the police.
  • Seek help from friends and other parents. It can be hard to know what to do at first. Other families might have gone through similar things and can offer advice and emotional support so you feel less alone.
  • Create or revisit your family agreement on technology use. You might feel you need to limit access or increase your involvement in your child’s internet use for a while. Discuss with your child what needs to happen for them to return to their normal internet use, so they have something to work towards.
  • Seek support from your child’s school. Schools can help improve your child’s understanding of consent and healthy friendships and access additional support services if needed.
  • Keep in mind, schools will refer any incidents involving nude images of under 18s to the police if they decide it is necessary. Find out more here. If this happens it’s important you know your child’s rights, e.g. they must be allowed to have an appropriate adult with them during all police contact. Visit Family Lives and LawStuff for more advice on your child’s rights, and the UK Government for information on the age of criminal responsibility.
  • Let your child know you still love them. Whilst they need to understand the consequences of their actions, they might be feeling confused, worried, or scared, and will need your support more than ever.