Parents and carers post about their children for many reasons. Most often, they post because they love their children and are proud of them.
Frequently parents and carers, particularly those of younger children, also post in order to share or receive advice. Parenting can be difficult and “sharenters” are often trying to work out the best way to help and support the young people in their care.
Questions you may have
Very common! Estimates show that the average parent will post their child’s image online almost 1000 times by the time they are five. A poll of 2000 UK parents showed that parents shared around 195 images of their children per year.
Sharenting can be a great way of storing memories and reminiscing about them later. Often, people like seeing pictures and videos of themselves when they were little and you might do too! Having events and achievements posted online is a great way to look back and remember the things you have done. It can also help you keep your loved ones up to date and in touch. Try to make sharing a positive experience for you and the family! With consent, sharing videos and images can be a great way to celebrate good times together.
The biggest risk with sharenting is when the adult sharing the content doesn’t have appropriate and up-to-date privacy settings. Your parents or carers need to follow all the same guidance as you do when it comes to keeping your personal information secure online. Additionally sometimes parents and carers may share things you’d rather they didn’t, like funny videos, embarrassing stories about you or pictures that you don’t like!
Just as you would take care before posting information that gave away your school, your address or your routine (e.g your football club or dance society), it poses the same risk if a parent shares this information publicly. It is important that any accounts with images or personal information are only visible to family and friends that you know and trust in real life. If your parents aren’t clear about privacy settings, make sure you explain why they are so important and help them to make sure that their accounts are secure. There is further information on doing this here.
Even if you don’t like something your parent or guardian has shared, they probably had good intentions and didn’t mean to upset or embarrass you. Remember, sharenting generally comes from a place of love.
The key to this is open and honest communication. Remember, it is unlikely that any adult at home has posted anything to try and embarrass or upset you. Therefore, if you are feeling hurt, be sure to talk to your parent or carer only once you can speak calmly and respectfully. This will make it much more likely that they can understand your concerns and take positive action. Be very clear on why you aren’t happy with what has been shared and what you would like to happen next as well as in the future. While it is unlikely that no adult in your family will ever post a group photograph, you will hopefully be able to agree on not posting anything that makes you feel really uncomfortable.
The ideal situation is that you ask your parents and carers for permission to post about them and vice versa! Again, the best way to agree and reciprocate in this way, is through good communication. Be sure that your requests are reasonable and realistic. The top priority should always be your safety and security online.
Top Tips
- Assume good intentions. Even if you don’t like something your parent or carer has posted, it is unlikely that they wish to cause you distress.
- The most important thing for you and your loves ones is your safety. Be sure that you and the adults in your life understand the risks and have the most up-to-date privacy settings.
- Stick to mutual and reasonable boundaries. If you expect your family to keep you informed about what they are posting about you, they deserve the same respect in return.
- The best way to establish some boundaries is through respectful, open and honest conversations at home.
- Think about how you can share in a positive way. For example looking back at baby photos together or making collages and videos for birthdays.